A guide for spiritual seekers, leaders, and companions
© DR Phelan - Uplift Centre 2025
A Journey Through 8 Phases of Spiritual Development
This resource provides a framework to understand the spiritual journey as a dynamic, nonlinear process rather than a rigid ascent.
Across psychology, theology, and spiritual direction, Christian thinkers and mystics like James Fowler, M. Scott Peck, Janet Hagberg & Robert Guelich, Richard Rohr, Brian McLaren, Barbara Brown Taylor, Bill Plotkin, Constance FitzGerald, and the broader Christian mystical tradition – have observed that human spiritual growth tends to unfold in recognisable phases or stages and recurring movements. Despite differences in terminology, the various models seem to share a common arc and trajectory: development begins with an ego-centric, survival-driven mindset and can mature toward a profound experience of love and unity with the divine.
Beyond Ladders — Toward Centres of Gravity
It is helpful to think of these phases not as a “ladder of worth” that we climb, but rather as fluid states of being — orientations we move through and often revisit. Each phase is like a dominant centre of gravity in how we relate to ourself, others, and the "The Ground of All Being" as the theologian Paul Tillich described his understanding of God.
Each phase offers unique lessons. Growth is often non-linear - people move back and forth, straddle stages, or “recycle” earlier outlooks when life circumstances change and their journey unfolds. There is no skipping ahead to avoid the hard work of a given phase. In short, the path is a spiral of unfolding depth rather than a straight climb upward.
With these caveats in mind, we have outlined a framework of eight stages with descriptors that attempts to braid together core insights from many fellow travellers who have gone before us. You are encouraged to identify with where you think you’re currently at without judgment. Every stage has its own gifts and challenges. The goal is not to somehow force ourself into a different phase, but rather to fully experience and learn from each stage, allowing grace to move us toward greater love.
We have written elsewhere about the stages of personal growth, formation, and the development of courage, resilience, character and wisdom in The Hero’s Journey and Hero to Wise Elder. Inevitably, our life journey is comprised of all our interwoven physical, mental, emotional and spiritual experiences, and the meaning we consciously and subconsciously, make of them.
This resource offers particular insights into the Spiritual aspects of this journey i.e. our lifetime search for meaning, purpose and deep joy.
The Eight Phases of the Spiritual Journey
1. Survive & Control – "Secure me"
In this initial stage, individuals seek safety, certainty, and clear moral structures. God is perceived as an external authority.
Example: A new believer finding comfort in strict religious rules.
Seeking: Safety, certainty, clear morals
God is: Rule-maker, powerful external authority who blesses/punishes; religion as behavioural contract,
Gifts: Order, predictability, moral scaffolding, sense of belonging, structure
Challenges: legalism, fear-based religion, rigidity, magical thinking, us/them tribalism, authoritarian capture.
Common defenses: Projection (“the bad is out there”), splitting (all good/all bad), over-compliance or defiance.
Dwelling markers: High anxiety when rules/authorities are challenged; dependence on external validation.
Scriptural/theological echo: Mount Sinai Tablets from God (Exodus 19–20..23); Proverbs pedagogy; Job’s friends’ retributive theology (Job 4 onward).
Helpful Practices: Structured rituals / prayer routines (e.g., daily Psalms reading), Regular community worship, supportive communities
Transition signs of growth: Genuine curiosity; cracks in certainty; compassion breaking through black/white categories.
Reflective Questions:
When do you feel safest spiritually?
How might this limit your growth?
Are your beliefs driven by fear or love?
2. Awakening & Recognition – "Someone found me"
This stage is characterised by connection, awe, and a personal experience of grace. God feels intimately present and protective.
Example: A profound conversion experience or spiritual awakening.
Seeking: Connection, awe, grace, say a trusting “yes” to a larger Story/Presence
God is: Loving protector, personal friend, intervening; experience of being found.
Gifts: Joy, wonder, hope, zeal, teachability, spiritual hunger, feeling spiritually alive
Challenges: Idealization of leaders, chasing emotional highs, spiritual consumerism
Common defenses: Denial of suffering/ambiguity; spiritual bypass via euphoria.
Dwelling markers: Chasing emotional highs; conflating God’s presence with felt consolation.
Scriptural/theological echo: Paul’s Damascus encounter (Acts 9:1–19); the Psalms of rescue / deliverance; the prodigal found (Luke 15:20–24).
Helpful Practices: Gratitude journaling, testimony/story-sharing, imaginative prayer, praise/worship, foundational study
Transition signs of growth: Desire for more substance, doctrine / theological understanding, community roots; sobriety after first enthusiasm.
Reflective Questions:
Recall an experience of awe that opened your heart spiritually - what were your feelings? your thoughts?
How might emotional intensity mask deeper spiritual questions?
3. Belonging & Conformity – "Shape me"
Characterised by community identity, moral clarity, belonging and conformity. God is our guardian.
Example: Belonging to a faith community and deeply adopting its beliefs and practices
Seeking: an internalised coherent framework and a communal moral compass, clear identity
God is: Guardian of our group and traditions, guarantor of order and correctness.
Gifts: Moral clarity, discipline, solidarity, service, tradition transmission, clear guidance, loyalty
Challenges: Rigid certainty, avoiding questions, group conformity, in–out tribalism, suppression of doubt, authoritarian dependence
Common defenses: Rationalization, groupthink, scapegoating dissenters.
Dwelling markers: Anxiety around ambiguity; fragile identity when challenged.
Scriptural/theological echo: Pastoral epistles shaping order (1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, and Titus); Jesus’ critiques of performative religiosity (Matthew 6:1–18).
Helpful Practices: Group worship, meaningful liturgy, mentorship, service with others
Transition signs of movement to new stage: Emerging dissonance, questioning arising from suffering, hunger for authenticity.
Reflective Questions:
How has your community shaped your spiritual identity?
Are there doubts you fear exploring due to community pressure?
4. Achievement & Responsibility – "Let me lead"
Focused on vocation, leadership, and meaningful work. God is seen as a partner and calling-giver.
Example: Leading a ministry or community project that has “kingdom” meaning
Seeking: Productive purpose, calling, identity integrated with meaningful work - vocation/ministry/mission
God is: Partner, calling-giver, mission-giver, coach, partner;
Gifts: Courage, leadership, entrepreneurship, innovation, community impact.
Challenges: Burnout, over-identification with work, saviour/messiah complex, activism as avoidance of interiority
Common defenses: Overwork, perfectionism, spiritualized grandiosity, control disguised as care.
Dwelling markers: : Chronic fatigue + indispensability narratives; dismissal of contemplation.
Scriptural/theological echo: Martha’s anxious serving (Luke 10:38–42); Paul’s thorn (2 Corinthians 12:7–10); Elijah’s collapse under the broom tree (1 Kings 19:3–9).
Helpful Practices: Rest (Sabbath), Rule / rhythms of life, spiritual mentorship, self-reflection, Examen of motives, shared leadership.
Transition signs of movement to new stage: Disillusionment, failure, moral injury, or success that still feels empty.
Reflective Questions:
Are you identifying more with what you do, than who you are?
Reflect on how you are spending your days and weeks right now - What is the balance of your attention on “Doing” compared to ‘Being”? Why is that?
How can rest enhance rather than threaten your spiritual purpose?
5. Disorientation & The Wall – "Break me open"
A challenging stage marked by doubt, grief, and spiritual silence.
Example: Experiencing profound loss or a crisis of faith; in the wilderness
Seeking: Deeper trust, to be able to let go of control, images of God, and identity fusions; surrender.
God is: Silent, absent, non-existent or mysterious
Gifts: Honesty, depth, authenticity, humility, freedom from illusions, deeper compassion
Challenges: Doubt, grief, feeling alone, cynicism, nihilism, paralysis, de-conversion without integration
Common defenses: Intellectualisation, permanent deconstruction, bitterness, self-exile.
Dwelling markers: Prolonged cynicism, identity built on analytical critique, spiritual numbness.
Scriptural/theological echo: Job’s protest (Book of Job, especially chapters 3–31); Jesus’ cry of forsakenness (Matthew 27:46); the “cloud of unknowing.”
Helpful Practices: Silence, spiritual companionship, lament psalms and journaling, centring prayer, wilderness retreats
Transition signs of new growth: Gentle openness, capacity to grieve, re-emergent tenderness, contemplative hunger.
Reflective Questions:
Are there some “certainties” that might be useful to surrender / let go of?
is it possible to hold paradoxes and move forward? For example, suffering and a Loving God?.
Is this a winter season that will pass? What might Spring look like for you?
6. Integration & Illumination – "Recentre me"
This Centre of gravity has a strong seeking for inner peace, centring, wholeness, and union with the divine.
Example: Experiencing consistent inner peace despite external chaos
Seeking: Wholeness, inner peace, integrate head, heart, body, shadow, live from inner union
God is: An inner presence, gentle guidance, sacramentality of the ordinary.
Gifts: Calm presence, humility, interior freedom, acceptance of life's paradoxes, deep compassion.
Challenges: Feeling misunderstood by others in different phase, detached, subtle spiritual superiority
Common defenses: Quietism, tendency to use a calm spiritual posture (like “everything happens for a reason” or “I just trust God”) to avoid facing uncomfortable emotions or truths.
Dwelling markers: Stable contemplative rhythm; capacity to hold paradox without reactivity.
Scriptural/theological echo: “Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27); Peter post-breakfast restoration (John 21:15–19); Emmaus burning hearts (Luke 24:32).
Helpful Practices: Contemplation, creative expression, time in nature, : Contemplative prayer, Lectio Divina, embodiment practices (yoga, breath work)..
Transition signs of movement: Desire to give away what one has become; natural movement toward hidden service.
Reflective Questions:
When have you experienced inner peace? Is there a place, memory, practice or stance that facilitates this for you?
Are you avoiding an emotional discomfort through a spiritual posture?
7. Compassionate Service – "Give through me"
Characterised by focus on selfless service and compassionate action from abundance.
Example: Quietly supporting marginalised individuals or groups.
Seeking: Loving service, genuine compassion, love-in-action from abundance, not compulsion; to translate union with God’s spirit into justice, mercy, and presence;
God is: Co-labouring Spirit; divine compassion, companion in suffering,
Gifts: Healing presence, gentle guidance of others, reconciliatory leadership, graceful activism.
Challenges: Compassion fatigue, setting boundaries
Common defenses: Over-functioning disguised as service; conflict avoidance.
Dwelling markers: Sustainable service, comfort and joy without spotlight
Scriptural/theological echo: The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25–37); Barnabas the encourager (Acts 4:36–37…); Dorcas/Tabitha’s quiet works of mercy (Acts 9:36–42).
Helpful Practices: Deep listening, mentoring, restorative self-care, simplicity, spiritual eldership.
Transition signs of growth: Deepening anonymity, effortless blessing - less up front, more supporting others; decreasing reactivity.
Reflective Questions:
How do you discern genuine generosity from compulsive giving?
Is your service to others, life-giving to you and them?
What boundaries help you sustain compassionate service?
8. Unitive Love – "I am one with all"
This stage is marked by profound unity, peace, and unconditional love; humility and groundedness.
Example: Living with serene joy and spontaneous acts of kindness.
Seeking: to empty ourselves and have God flow through us to others; becoming love itself; life as prayer
God is: Present in everything, universal love
Gifts: Wisdom, peace, profound simplicity, spontaneity of love, joyful presence
Challenges: Being misunderstood, others’ expectations
Common defenses: Few; ego games largely dissolved—yet prudent boundaries remain
Dwelling markers: Serene joy, radical inclusion, forgiveness as reflex, anonymity embraced.
Scriptural/theological echo: : “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me” (Galatians 2:20); Jesus’ unity prayer (John 17:20–23); “God is love.” (1 John 4)
Helpful Practices: Silent abiding, quiet presence, blessing others, finding the sacred in everyday moments
Reflective Questions:
When have you experienced unity with others or creation?
What are the “hooks” or attachments that destabilise / unravel you?
How do you remain grounded and humble in your spiritual maturity?
Expanding on “The Wall” in 5 : Embracing the Turning Point
Many encounter a "Wall"—often in phase five—marked by loss, confusion, or divine silence. The Centre of gravity of this developmental phase is deconstruction, grief, impasse, dark night of the soul. Core markers include loss of God’s felt presence, collapse of explanatory frameworks, and forced surrender of identity-fusing roles. It can feel like being lost in a dark foreboding forest.
The psychological and emotional aspects of this phase are metaphorically described in stages 7&8 of the Hero’s Journey (See Approach to the Inmost Cave and The Ordeal in the Abyss).
The Wall is is a key transformation point. It is the turning of the ego: where our Will meets God’s Will (Hagberg & Guelich), where faith’s container shatters (Rohr’s “disorder”), where we encounter impasse and the dark night (FitzGerald, John of the Cross).
However, as difficult and uncomfortable as the Wall is - and this pain of inner transformation may last for several years - It is ultimately an invitation, not an obstacle. It is a chance to let go of old certainties and to find and trust deeper truths.
We would wish it otherwise, but It is almost always a painful transition and transformation. Richard Rohr observes that the ego always resists surrender and loss of control. “The ego hates losing—even to God.” (Falling Upward). Our ego will defend, project, and attack so as to avoid giving up our centre stage. Rohr calls the ego/“false self” a necessary but temporary identity that must be let go so the “true self” can emerge—something the ego resists. Rohr says our journey is about relinquishing control (not tightening it), learning to serve something larger than the ego’s projects (Center for Action and Contemplation). For a lot of people, this does not happen until much later in life - if at all.
Thomas Merton, the American Trappist monk and mystic, similarly says spiritual development is a journey from the false self (ego, illusion, role-playing) to the true self (our identity hidden in God). “To be a saint means to be myself... Therefore the problem of sanctity and salvation is in fact the problem of finding out who I am and of discovering my true self.” (New Seeds of Contemplation)
Bottom line about the “Wall”: The ego will not step aside on its own; it usually takes failure, “falling,” suffering, or conscious practices of letting go for the centre of gravity to shift from egoic control to a life led by grace (the “true self”)
So, the wisdom of past travellers is to take your time here. Grieve, reflect, and trust the process.
General Reflection Questions
Where do you currently see yourself on this spiritual journey?
How can you embrace your current phase with compassion?
Are you sensing any questions or movements in your Spirit?
How does viewing spiritual growth as a spiral, change your perspective?
Reflective Quotes for Meditation
Paul Tillich: “God is not a being among other beings but the Ground of Being itself.”
Richard Rohr: “The ego hates losing—even to God.” (Falling Upward)
Thomas Merton: “To be a saint means to be myself… discovering my true self.” (New Seeds of Contemplation)
Teresa of Ávila: “Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you; all things pass away. God alone suffices.”
John of the Cross: “In the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God.”
Barbara Brown Taylor: “New life starts in the dark… it starts in the dark.” (Learning to Walk in the Dark)
Important Reminders
Spiritual growth is not linear. You may revisit phases many times.
Each phase has valuable lessons. No stage is "better" or "worse" than another. Each has essential gifts for a lifelong journey of transformation.
Your community may share a common phase. This influences your collective spiritual experience.
For a deeper dive:
James Fowler:
Fowler, J. W. (1981). *Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for Meaning*. Harper & Row.
M. Scott Peck
Peck, M. S. (1978). *The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth*. Simon & Schuster.
Janet O. Hagberg & Robert A. Guelich
Hagberg, J. O., & Guelich, R. A. (2005). *The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith* (2nd ed.). Sheffield Publishing Company.
Richard Rohr
Rohr, R. (2011). *Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life*. Jossey-Bass.
Rohr, R. (2013). *Immortal Diamond: The Search for Our True Self*. Jossey-Bass.
Rohr, R. (2019). *The Universal Christ*. Convergent Books.
Brian McLaren
McLaren, B. D. (2021). *Faith After Doubt: Why Your Beliefs Stopped Working and What to Do About It*. St. Martin’s Essentials.
Barbara Brown Taylor
Taylor, B. B. (2014). *Learning to Walk in the Dark*. HarperOne.
Bill Plotkin
Plotkin, B. (2003). *Soulcraft: Crossing into the Mysteries of Nature and Psyche*. New World Library.
Plotkin, B. (2008). *Nature and the Human Soul: Cultivating Wholeness and Community in a Fragmented World*. New World Library.
Plotkin, B. (2021). *The Journey of Soul Initiation*. New World Library.
Constance FitzGerald
FitzGerald, C. (1984). *Impasse and Dark Night*. In P. Groves (Ed.), *Spirituality and the Secular Quest*. Crossroad.
Christian Mystical Tradition
Anonymous. (1981). *The Cloud of Unknowing*. (J. Walsh, Trans.). Paulist Press.
Teresa of Ávila. (1961). *The Interior Castle*. (E. A. Peers, Trans.). Image Books.
John of the Cross. (1959). *Dark Night of the Soul*. (E. A. Peers, Trans.). Image Books.
Brother Lawrence. (1982). *The Practice of the Presence of God*. Whitaker House.